Lately, I've been feeling a lack of energy and a whining sense that is truly unattractive and completely counter-intuitive as a (relatively speaking) newlywed who's madly in love. At night when passion would be at it's peak in the winter months, I am feeling overwhelmed by the sweaty, sticky body entangled in my arms... the same body I longed to lay beside for a lifetime before! The mosquitoes crooning their miserable songs offer no consolation. Their incensing serenades make me double check our sleeping area tucked tightly underneath a navy blue mosquito net which only seems to add to the heat.
Ugh.
Then there are the rats crawling above our corrugated tin roof. They make an undeniably irritating sound as they shuffle through the night. Waking up at 5:50AM to avoid the line of family members eagerly awaiting their turn at our shared bathroom seems to only add to my crankiness. Lately I find myself longing to just belt out a massive scream, kicking and stomping my feet, flailing my arms, just generally partaking in hysterical behavior as a way of calming myself down. Maybe then I would get one night's worth of rest uninterrupted.
As fate would have it, this morning I was reading some articles on Yoga Journal's website and a brief mention was made of something new to me: Tantrum Yoga. There must be a God & God must've lived in a joint-family. Apparently, so many people were feeling stressed out from work or relationships that as proper adulthood loomed over their heads they longed for the days of childhood when one could literally kick and scream all they wanted. What a lovely release!
This afternoon I closed the door to our shoebox bedroom and stood in mountain pose with my feet about hip-width apart. Closing my eyes, with my hands at my side, I swayed gently from side to side. Feeling rooted with my feet firmly planted on my mat, I inhaled both of my arms high towards the ceiling and as I exhaled I shook my arms down letting out a scream. I did this three more times until my screaming turned into boisterous bouts of uncontrollable laughter.
It was probably the shortest Yoga practice in the history of Yoga, but ohhhhhhh man. It felt so good. All the tension building up during the past few excruciatingly hot weeks, the stress of a life without any solitude, every ounce of negative energy released in those few exhalations and screams. The laughter re-charged me to the core of my being and I was left alone, giggling like a little school girl at my own stupidity. Did I really need to read an article on Tantrum Yoga to realize that everything I've learned about life, I already mastered as a child?